THE UNDEAD STILL RISE UP!

It’s like Mary Shelley baked these suckers!

This is a follow-up Acme Instant Food Video Post to the original post of six weeks ago. The following clip is rated “R” (for revolting).

BANANA & COCOA NIB PANCAKES

Remember when your parents might miraculously forgive you for putting glue on the toilet seat and take you to IHOP for a treat on Sunday morning? You'd slide into those red pleather upholstered booths that were still wet from the quick washrag wipe-down from the busboy. That same rag had been used to wipe down every single surface in that restaurant for days without being laundered and you were now feeling the slight dampness soak into the back of your pants. But you didn't care.

Naomi, a short but hefty waitress whose lower lip seemed to be fused into a permanent upward pout, brought menus to your table and poured your parents coffee from a large gold-tone plastic carafe then set it on the table for self-serve refills. You silently cursed your table companions for bothering to look into the menus whose covers were lacquered with layers of blueberry and maple syrup. You always knew what you wanted and hated the fact that everyone else seemed so casual about the whole affair. The longer they perused the menu, the longer they delayed the arrival of your CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES WITH POWDERED SUGAR AND WHIPPED TOPPING. There would be no Rootie-Tootie Fresh N Fruity passing your lips! You salivated and quietly waited for your sugar-shock to begin.

It's been years since this breakfast scenario played out. Well, in truth I may have once eaten this particular childhood favorite at 2 am in West Hollywood after a night of carousing and too many vodka cranberries but I don't fully remember the experience and even if I did I wouldn't document it here and ooops I think I've already said too much. As much as I love pancakes and all things chocolate, I couldn't actually imagine eating that grilled carbohydrate candy bar for breakfast now. Although, I've considered it...

Thankfully, I think this is the grown-up substitution. I've made numerous batches of banana pancakes but I upped the fiber content with a dose of whole-wheat flour and added cocoa nibs for a subtly exotic chocolate note. Personally, I think using maple syrup on these might power out the subtle cocoa nibs (but Ed didn't seem to think so). After making these I don't think I'll ever consider the kiddie version again. Well, as long as I'm not passing any IHOPs at 2 am.




BANANA & COCOA NIB PANCAKES

1 cup whole-wheat flour
1/2 cup white flour
1 Tbs sugar
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/4 cup whole milk (might need just a smidgen more)
l large ripe banana, mashed well
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 Tbs cocoa nibs
1/4 cup chopped pecans

Combine first 5 ingredients well in medium-sized mixing bowl. Add milk and vanilla, stirring until just blended. Add mashed banana and continue to mix until well incorporated. Fold in cocoa nibs and pecans, reserving a small amount of each for garnish. Heat a lightly greased skillet or griddle over medium heat. Pour batter onto griddle in 1/4 cup amounts and cook until bubbles form on top and edges begin to dry. Flip and cook until just golden brown.

Serve with butter and syrup if desired, garnishing with reserved cocoa nibs and pecans.

HAMBURGERS ARE HEALTH FOOD

Yes, I'm back. Thank you to everyone who left such nice comments while the Acme kitchen was closed. Mother Nature (Her High Priestess of Bitchiness) stepped in and sent one of those nasty black clouds to rain on our family, but the sun is nurturing us once again.

My dear grandmother is 94 years old. She's an amazingly young woman for her age and has never suffered any serious health issues in her life. She travels around the U.S. by bus, plane, and train and even cruises to Hawaii, the Caribbean and through the Panama Canal. Over the last few months she has begun to have problems with her left wrist and hand.

And then she took a fall.

A doctor examined her and determined nothing was broken but he sent her to the hospital as a precaution. They gave her a CAT scan and we learned immediately that the indomitable Auntie Mame had a rather large tumor growing on the right side of her brain. This explained the problem with her left hand, and also the reason for her fall. Her doctor said that she had two options; she could do nothing and would probably become more homebound and eventually bed-ridden due to loss of mobility on the left side of her body. The second option was a craniotomy.

Frankly, both options scared the hell out of us but fearless grandma didn't hesitate in her response. She said, "Do it!"



Just barely twenty-four hours after surgery, she was sitting up in bed and eating a hamburger. She was smiling and joking and asking for more mustard. I don't know what was in that hamburger, but she is getting better each day and making some of the 80-something-year-old "youngsters" in the recovery facility look feeble in comparison. It looks like she's doing just fine, and I've decided to start eating more hamburgers.

I'm ready to cook again so consider this your warning. I've also purchased a new Canon camera (a boy needs a little retail therapy y'all) so perhaps my future shots won't all tend to look like dog food. Also, Acme Instant Ingredients will indeed happen! Watch your email in-box for information, your partner, and a new timeframe to accomplish this task.

It's so tasty too!

Just like candy. So why don't you join the thousands of happy peppy people and take a chance with Acme Instant Ingredients tomorrow.

That's Acme..Instant...Ingredients. (wink)

NEW FUSION FOOD

click on cartoon to enlarge

Everyone knows you can only do that with hamburgers!

Sheesh! Dogs are so stupid.

INSTANTLY AWAY

The Acme kitchen is temporarily closed due to some unexpected family issues. Let's just pretend that I'm on a summer programming hiatus and in the meantime you can either watch my reruns, or simply go outside and wait for the Good Humor truck to arrive. But whatever you do please don't surf around and discover other blogs with better writing, photography, grammar, spelling, substance and recipes. I'll never be able to bribe all six of my regular readers back (will a personal check be okay?).

To those who have signed up to participate in Acme Instant Ingredients, stay tuned and I will return to work on the project again soon. If you haven't signed up but would like to join in, please e-mail me at AcmeInstantFood(AT)gmail(DOT)com. I'll contact participants by e-mail and provide you with information.