Monday, January 22, 2007



Welcome to Acme Instant Food and my submission to Sugar High Friday. Have we met before? It's my pleasure to have you here. Get comfortable. May I pour you a drink? Do you like Champagne? Mmmmm, very good. I'd like to get to know you a bit better. You'll probably want to know me a little bit too because this particular entry is, well, it's a little bit intimate.

Don't be scared. Are you still with me? Good.




Three great words.

On their own, or strung together.

Chocolate is the theme for this month's Sugar High Friday. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot to mention that we are not alone. Do you know David? Of course you do. Everyone knows David. David is the ONLY person who could be up to this task. He's hosting this sweet little event. Oh, but don't worry, he's just watching.

Do you like Valentine's Day? I do. I And loving. But don't worry, because it's okay if you don't. In fact, some think it's better not to...

Did you already finish your Champagne? Wait a minute while I put on this CD. It's Barry White.

Here...let me pour you another glass.

You like Barry? Don't worry if you don't know the music, you just have to relax into it. Okay now, lower the lights. That's good. Maybe light some candles. Excellent. Do I make you nervous? It's okay. Don't worry. Get close to your monitor and make sure nobody is watching. A little closer. Mmmmmm good. I'm ready to share this with you. Just you right now, okay?

Don't worry. It's chocolate! You like chocolate, right? And, it's warm. Just a little. Let me show you...give me your hand.

It's delicious. And you've never had chocolate quite like this before? What's that? Oh, I see. You have, haven't you? Mmmmmm I see. You are coy. Maybe you are ready for this after all...

Uh-oh, wait a minute. I think some other people are here. I feel eyes...watching us.

We have to wait a little bit longer. Just a little bit. These people here, you know, the ones watching us? They want some too. I don't have enough for everyone.

I have to show everybody now. Wait for me. Okay? Please wait.

I chose Dagoba Latte chocolate for this. For lots of reasons. Let me tell you...

1. Dagoba chocolate is organic. Mmmmm no, that's not what I said. I said 'organic'. We only want to share pure, sacred, organic chocolate ingredients.

2. Coffee--Provides stimulation. Prolongs the experience.

3. Cinnamon. Excites and arouses the senses. Intensifies your exotic charms.

4. Frederick Schilling (of Dagoba Chocolate).

Enough said about Frederick. You get the point.


2, 2 oz Dagoba Latte organic chocolate bars
1/4 cup heavy organic cream
1 tsp vegetable oil
*optional* tiny pinch of chili powder

Lower your kitchen lights and wear something comfortable. Break up the Dagoba Latte chocolate bars into small chunks and sprinkle with 1 tsp vegetable oil. Heat cream until hot--but not scorched or boiling. Pour cream over chocolate and let sit for 3 minutes. Then slowly and deliberately take charge, stirring mixture. Chocolate should slowly yield to you and give way to your gentle pressure. Don't stop until chocolate has given way and produces a smooth, velvety sauce.

For an extra exotic treat and sensation, add tiny pinch of chili powder and stir until blended. If chocolate is too thick to use as paint you may thin slightly with a small amount of warm cream or vegetable oil.

Okay, I have to go now. I have somebody waiting for me. I really love tattoos. But you know what to do with this now, right? This is one recipe that you will most definitely enjoy cleaning up.





Vida said...

Oh my. Are those tatoos real?

Ellie said...

Great post! I've no need for the body paint now, but if I'm ever as lucky as you to have that special someone, then I'll bear this in mind :)

david L said...






Anonymous said...

Great submission to SHF! So creative -- but what else would I expect from you?

s'kat said...

I just feel dirty now. And... I like it!!

wheresmymind said...

I looked at that arm quick and thought it said Sh*t. On that note, I'm going to get a coffay and smack on the head from my friend to wake up :D

Anonymous said...


I'd like to know, did you write on your arm, extend it over the oh so very sexy red velvet strewn with rose petals and then use your other hand to take the picture? Or did you model while Ed photographed (or vicey versey)? I like the swirl in the H btw.

Great post - very, very creative and ohhh sooo naughty ;)


Anonymous said...

Oh no wait! That's not red velvet or roses! Is that shag and poinsettias??

And I also forgot to mention that Frederick is Babelicious.

Anonymous said...

Well done.

Acme Instant Food said...

Yes Vida, they are real tatoos. Not mine!

Ellie-Maybe if you whip up some paint you'll make a friend!

David-Should I have made brownies?

LR-It was my first submission to SHF (and now I may be banned from future events!)

S'kat-Here, have a chocolate cigarette.

WMM-Is that code ???

Lis-I did the (bad) photography, both on my arm and on his. And it's pink bouganvilla on a red velvet throw. And finally, yep :)


Shawnda said...

Love it! And in plenty of time for Valentine's Day :)

Anonymous said...

That is pure genius.

Morgan said...

It doesn't hurt that you look just like Ewan McGregor. Sheesh! For crying out loud!

Jess said...

Genius. What else is chocolate for?

veuveclicquot said...

Oh my. Is this legal? ;) ;)

Anonymous said...

This is the BEST POST EVAH!!

Marianne said...

I wish I were still at the beach...yet still I am charmed by your latest post and dorkily giddy that you even read my intermittent postings. You've shamed me into a comeback...we'll see how long that lasts.

Anonymous said...


And I must say that is the first chocolatier glamour shot I have ever seen in my life.

Please give me a heads up if you find any more food purveyor beauty shots. I will put them in my locker with little hearts around them!

christianne said...

Frederick is super cute!

veron said...

Nice spin on sugar high friday. I did not know that the owner Frederick is a cutie, now I think I'm going to try Dagoba!

Rachael said...

My dear, reading your posts is going to be the death of me...I cannot stop laughing. So funny, yet, so sexy. Purrr...


Anonymous said...

I just ran across this post after looking for information on organic chocolates for some baskets I need to make up. I just ordered Dagoba after reading this!! Best prices for a box of bars at -- even better than Dagoba's website.