Tuesday, October 31, 2006

BLUEBERRY BURGERS


Oh "YUCKO" I hear you scream! Hang on! Not so fast...these are delicious!


This isn't an original idea. People have been adding fruits to ground beef in order to increase moisture, flavor and reduce fat and cholesterol for years. Burgers can be made in this manner from leaner cuts of beef without toughening up and tasting like a piece of sun-dried raccoon leather. That's great news to anyone interested in shaving calories and saturated fat from their diet.


I seem to recall setting out to make a lower fat burger that wasn't boring. Regardless of my motivation, the addition of fresh chopped blueberries in ground beef was so delicious that I've grilled many blueberry burgers. The taste is amazing--flavorful and juicy. This is actually becoming my "go to" burger recipe. An unsuspecting guest will never know what the secret ingredient is. The taste of blueberries doesn't come through. However, observant eaters will notice the dark bits of skin peppering the meat.

Yes, I coarsely chop the berries before mixing them with the ground beef. But it was much more attractive to the camera this way, trust me.

School cafeterias in well over a dozen states switched in the late 90's from traditional beef burgers to those containing the addition of dried prunes, tart cherries or blueberries. The motivation to add fruit to burgers springs from more than one factor. Adding berries to grilled beef is thought by some to reduce the carcinogens believed to form during cooking. Fruit can also add moisture to leaner, healthier cuts of meat. The resulting burger produces less fat without a dry, tough texture. There is also the theory that these recipes were born out the creative marketing minds hired by the blueberry and cherry industries. Finding new ways to sell more of their fruit ensured more food for their own family's tables.

I can't give specific ratios of fruit to beef. Too much chopped fruit will make the burgers difficult to handle and result in patties that fall apart on the grill. I suggest adding just a handful of coarsely chopped blueberries to your first batch (try one small tester burger) and gaugeing ratios by the result. I added chopped blueberries once to turkey burgers and found the result to be very tasty, but, somewhat Fear Factorish due to its ghastly, puce-grey color.

To some freshly ground beef, I add the coarsely chopped berries and mix gently. I form the patties, using a slightly firmer hand than normal. Hang on while I detour and jump up on the soapbox:


Over-handling ground beef usually results in burgers that are too compact and tough. If preparing "normal" beef burgers:

DON'T press the meat into one of those hamburger forms sold in stores or mash the beef together. UGH!

Don't over-mix seasonings into the beef. Combine lightly and simply form loose patties with your hands.

Don't press the cooking burgers flat with a spatula--spilling the juices into the fire or pan.

Okay, I'm off the box now.

The surplus juice the berries provide seem to counter this unwanted compact texture and your burgers should be formed well enough to hold together while cooking. Generously sprinkle with salt and pepper just before cooking. Grill (medium-rare for us!) and top with whatever favorite accessories you desire. This produces one of the juiciest, most tender burgers you'll hope to have.

Monday, October 30, 2006

RIGATONI WITH LOW-FAT, CREAMY BUTTERNUT SAUCE


As a kid I was a squash hater. I am now a happy squash-loving adult. Butternut squash is a favorite, especially in the fall where its sweet flesh and gorgeous autumn color exude the hominess of a Courier & Ives painting. Yes, that description is a bit over-the-top, but butternut squash is a taste I closely associate with fall and winter holidays and I happily welcome those flavors to my table. Too bad the mercury has been hovering around the 85 degree mark in Los Angeles--I'm ready for cool weather!

A search for butternut pasta dishes turned up lots of recipes chock full of butter, cream cheese, and heavy cream. Since we are watching our weight and cholesterol I ditched them and used their inspiration to make this very simple, but extremely tasty pasta dish. This is one of those recipes that goes into the "keeper file."

RIGATONI WITH LOW-FAT, CREAMY BUTTERNUT SAUCE

1 medium butternut squash
Small amount of olive oil
salt & pepper

1/2 lb. rigatoni pasta ( I used whole wheat)
2 tsp mild curry powder
12 oz can fat-free evaporated milk
pinch cayenne
1 scant TBS minced ginger (more or less to taste)
Freshly grated Parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 450 F. Wash butternut and slice into large wedges. Remove seeds and pulp. Rub with a small amount of olive oil and place in baking dish, flesh side up. Sprinkle with salt and pepper to taste and roast in oven until softened and flesh begins to brown (about 30 minutes). Remove from oven. When cool enough to handle, scoop flesh away from rind and place into food processor bowl. Add fat-free evaporated milk, curry, cayenne and ginger. Puree until mixture is smooth. Transfer to saucepan and set over very low heat, stirring occasionally, while finishing pasta. If sauce thickens too much you may thin with additional fat-free evaporated milk, chicken broth, or even some very dry white wine (a dry wine is necessary or the end product will be too sweet) .

Boil pasta until al dente and drain. Pour sauce over pasta and top with Parmesan.

*Adding some thin slices of ham, pancetta or bacon would please heartier appetites and die-hard carnivores. Be careful when salting the squash if adding any of the above.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

THE GREAT VODKA EXPERIMENT OF 2006



Allow me to make the statement of the year: scientific experiments executed by the wrong people threaten the future of all mankind. Kim Jong Il, are you listening?

I failed to hold enough respect for the scientific process last Friday night. Friends, mutual respect, reputations and lives might all have been lost. Thank God nobody got hurt. TMZ and Defamer aren’t running any stories yet and I hope for the benefit of everyone involved that it remains so.


The Great Vodka Experiment of 2006 was a failure. It was a rocket launched without a target, a goal, or even an audience who wanted to watch the devastation. I take full responsibility for my lack of focus and strict vision to see the experiment through to the end. I could also blame the vodka but that would really be taking the easy way out.

The smoke has cleared now and only I know the real outcome of the Great Vodka Experiment.

THE HYPOTHESIS

The goal of The Great Vodka Experiment of 2006 was to verify the result of an experiment carried out by other pioneering bloggers. Fletcher, Ken, Adam, Dawn (the sober note-taker) and Tessa (the cat who unwittingly licked the glass) gathered to test if a charcoal filtering system (Brita Pitcher) can remove the stanky, aseptic, nuclear melt-down, rubbing alcohol taste from cheap swill vodka. They documented their test and its results on www.OhMyGoditBurns.com. Other bloggers have mentioned this process too so it appears that the experiment is no secret. I felt as if I was a bit late to the game, however, I was intrigued by the idea and plans began to form in my head.

THE SET-UP

It sounded like a great reason to throw a party and a half dozen friends were invited over for dinner last Friday. We wanted everyone to be in attendance before beginning the experiment, so we did what good hosts should do and offered the first to arrive a beverage. Kettle One Vodka and cranberry juice started pouring freely and we sampled some brie with caramelized pears and hazelnuts. Eventually, the other invited guests arrived.

Love & Greetings

Hugs & Kisses

Chit & Chat

More drinks were poured. About this time I remembered why I had invited everyone.


Yes, it's a "Vodka" pumpkin. It's about the only thing that didn't get smashed that night.


THE EXPERIMENT

I purchased a 1.75 liter bottle of Vitali Vodka for about $8 after a lengthy discussion with the cashier about how this vodka was the best for cleaning windows and removing the leftover gummy residue that is left behind when you scrape off a price tag. "I'd never serve this to anyone who I wasn't trying to kill," I lied.




I poured an ounce of the vile potion into a frozen shot glass and offered it to anyone brave enough to let it pass their lips. You just never know what you are getting into when you come over to our house. Nobody went blind, but a couple of people bent over in pain like that actress on Grey's Anatomy when she needed an emergency appendectomy.



I did feel a little bit ashamed and guilty. But, not enough to stop.

After the gagging and screaming had subsided, I poured the swill into the top of a fresh Brita filter and smiled as it began its trickle downward on a magical journey to heavenly 80 proof blissdom. We poured more drinks and waited for the filtering to finish. Then, we tasted again. There was more dramatic gagging and about this time everyone decided to abruptly leave the kitchen and head to the safety of an outside table on the upper deck. I decided to make amends by refreshing their Kettle One and cranberrys and I served up bowls of spicy jambalaya full of chicken, shrimp and wild rice.

More drinks were poured.

And then some more.


I was enjoying the warm L.A. night, the fun conversation, and our friends. At some point I remembered my lab experiment in the kitchen and excused myself from the group. One quick sip later I decided to pour the swill through the filter three more times.

I refreshed everyone's drinks.

About that time I remembered the beautiful Apple Cheesecake with Pomegranate Caramel Sauce I had made earlier *recipe to come. Cheesecake was sliced and the velvety pomegranate caramel sauce was poured over each serving.

At this point in time, the cheesecake wasn't the only thing that was sauced.

After the third tasting of the vodka, something began to change.

People began to run from me.

I chased guests through the house with frozen shot glasses of highly questionable vodka, pleading for their cooperation. I would shout:

"Oh, wait guys! It tastes really smooth now! I swear!"

"Poor college students and homeless alcoholics everywhere will benefit from this experiment! You PROMISED!"

"Come baaacck! I think you dropped your wallet!"



Somebody stated that they just remembered they left their iron on at home and made a hasty exit. What did I do wrong? They hated me.

The next morning I headed into the kitchen to clean up the mess. I found this.


I realized that they wouldn't remember most of the events of the previous evening. I most likely wouldn't have to answer their questions about why I tried to poison them in the name of science. My impeccable bartending skills and reputation as a host would not be forever tarnished.


THE CONCLUSION

I eyed the Brita pitcher and wondered what to do with the 1.5 liters of crappy vodka. It was crap, wasn't it? The experiment was a failure, right? I actually couldn't remember tasting any of the vodka after about the third or fourth filtration. I remembered continually dumping the potion through the filter until it had made at least six or seven passes, but I think we abandoned the process in favor of the Kettle One and cranberrys. Perhaps at some point I think everyone just forgot about it, myself included.

HHhhhmmmmmmm...

Okay, I took a deep breath and tried it. I didn't wretch. Surprisingly, the additional passes through the filter made the vodka, almost palatable! I wouldn't ever drink it in a martini, but as a mixed drink I believe it would actually be acceptable! The Great Vodka Experiment made for one hell of a nasty party. But, the end result would actually be worth the effort if you are a penniless frat boy trying to get a buzz on with your buds and you have no free cash flow. I have a feeling we'll stick to getting screwed for $14 martinis at the Abbey.

Kim Jong Il, why don't you switch to testing this for a change?

Friday, October 20, 2006

CHICKEN CASHEW CHILI WITH SOME ENCOURAGEMENT FROM MARK TWAIN


Usually, when a group of people is coming to dinner I don't experiment with a new recipe--at least for the main dish. I might bend that rule if George W. asked me to host a fundraising dinner for the current Republican Party, but so far that hasn't happened.

Some friends are coming over tonight for *insert fanfare here and imagine a celebrity voiceover* THE GREAT VODKA EXPERIMENT OF 2006. I ran across a recipe on Epicurious for Chicken Cashew Chili and came very close to preparing it for tonight's gathering. I hesitated because while the recipe received rave reviews from other visitors to Epicurious, the pairing of ingredients might not be appealing to everyone.

Mark Twain once said, "It is wiser to find out than suppose." Thanks Mark. I decided to do just that and I prepared the dish last night for the two of us to try.


(Yeah, it looks like dog food, but keep reading)

We discovered that this chili is very good. So good in fact that I'd have been ticked off if I had prepared it for a Republican fundraiser. I'd be happy to invite John McCain over for a bowl but the front gate will not open for any others.

I modified the recipe slightly. The original calls for dried ancho chilies and kidney beans. I nixed them both and substituted hot New Mexico green chilies and shelled edamame. I also used chicken thigh meat and fiddled with some of the seasonings.

Check back soon for the posted results of *pretend you are hearing the expensive celebrity voiceover again* THE GREAT VODKA EXPERIMENT OF 2006, or, "Gee, this swill is really swell!"


CHICKEN CASHEW CHILI

For chili puree
1/4 cup chopped hot New Mexico green chilies (or similar)
1/4 cup toasted cashews
1 cup chicken broth


6 chicken thighs, skin removed
3 TBS olive oil
1 large onion, chopped coarse
5 garlic cloves, mashed
1 TBS + ground cumin
1 scant TBS chili powder
1/4 cup fresh chopped cilantro
14.5 oz can diced tomatoes with juice
1/2 cup toasted cashews
1 ounce fine-quality bittersweet chocolate
1 1/2 cups shelled edamame (soy beans)
1 cup chicken broth

Puree chilies, 1/4 cup cashews and 1 cup chicken broth in food processor until smooth.

In a large heavy saucepan, heat oil over moderate heat until hot but not smoking. Add onion
and stir until softened. Add cumin, chili powder and garlic and cook for one minute, stirring frequently. Add chicken and stir to coat with onion mixture. Stir in chili puree, cilantro and tomatoes with juice and simmer, covered, stirring occasionally to avoid sticking, 45 minutes or until chicken meat is very tender. Remove pan from heat and transfer chicken to a work surface to cool slightly. Pull meat from bones and shred. Return meat to pan and stir in edamame and last cup of chicken broth. Cook over medium heat for ten minutes or until edamame are tender. Add cashews and chocolate and cook until chocolate is melted.

Serve it with cornbread.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

OH, SWELL...

...Now people are coming to my site because they are "Googling" for cookware comparisons. They are either extremely confused or just simply disapointed when they get here.

Speaking of "Googling," I've been watching the search terms used to find my site. Others have shared some of the weird routes people travel to find them and so I'd like to post just a select few:

Madonna Appears on Toast
I suppose it was this post that drew that one.

Instant Food Just Add Water Warner Brothers will be happy to note that there really is a coyote in the Grand Canyon using a computer to search for a wind-up female roadrunner robot and crates of TNT from the ACME company.

Exploding Pigeon Food That one disturbs me greatly. It might have come from the coyote mentioned above.

Negative Effects of Instant Foods *Hey, wait a minute!

And, my all-time absolute favorite...

Your Hips Are Like Ripe Peaches This one was traced back to Mark Foley's office.

Tonight, I return to the kitchen after a long absence. The next post will actually include a recipe. I'll even try to refrain from rewriting beloved song lyrics.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

COME ON BABY LIGHT MY FIRE




Don't worry. Don't cover your ears. I'm not going to start singing. If you want music, you can go here and here and maybe even here.

Sometimes in the course of life, events pull you in directions that you'd just rather not travel. Lately I've been absorbed in work and family drama. In recent years the two have been inexorably tied together so movement in one area often drags the other along for the ride. Until this week, I had not really acknowledged the heft and weight of the strands attaching me to the work side of this web.

In my previous post I mentioned that my mom had retired. Tonight, she boards a plane and together with her husband will travel off to a most well deserved retirement just a bit beyond the horizon visible to me from California. So now, before the opened bottles of congratulatory champagne have barely had a moment to warm up and lose their effervescence, I find myself examining my career which so closely paralleled my family relations and at times has even felt like an extension of my family.

Yeah, I know this is a food blog; and

Yeah, I know I'm off topic; and

KTs opening paragraph here said it best so I'll wait a moment while you click on that link and read her opening paragraph.

So now I sit here at 9:30 am, with my fourth cup of coffee (comment all you want but I'll leave that topic for another posting) trying to decide if this is indeed the time for me to lighten the loads equally and step away from the career that has, in one way or another, been so much a part of my life since childhood.

Now it could be the caffeine screaming through my veins, but I'm feeling something. I'm feeling the need to fan a different flame. I'd like to point my bellows toward a flame under a skillet. Please don't take this opportunity to ask about new cookware purchases. It hasn't happened yet. It will soon. You'll hear about it. I don't think I could stand on my feet all day cooking in a kitchen. So, where could I immerse myself in a more right-brained, culinary-related field and actually earn enough to pay my bills?

Perhaps I could be hired as Sandra Lee's new manager? God knows it would be full time work. Just shopping around for material to cover up this could keep me busy from sun up till the midnight hour. Don't even get me started on revamping her "recipes." And, most importantly, I would rest comfortably knowing people would appreciate my efforts. In fact, there should be a line of applicants for this position.

Maybe I could take up sculpting and create little plastic pieces of sushi and acrylic tempura platters headed for the windows of Japanese restaurants in strip malls across L.A.? The real revenue would lie in returning for periodic air brushing to restore their faded colors.

I also like the idea of creating in-home cooking classes for new homemakers and stay-at-home moms. I couldn't coach anyone on classic Cordon Bleu cooking skills, but I could ignite creativity and instruct wives with lagging cooking skills on the basics. Husbands would rest comfortably knowing that it was a gay guy who was at home with their wife, peeling cucumbers and forming homemade bagels.

I could supplement my income during the holidays making gingerbread houses for commercial displays. I once made an elaborate three-story mansion that Cindy quickly named the "Aaron Spelling Gingerbread House". It was one hundred percent edible, complete with east and west wings, a large circular driveway with a fountain, a ballroom with a Christmas tree visible through the bay windows, topiary gardens, and snow-covered gables (I recall having no life to speak of at the time). The problem with creating those is that I'd have to purchase a mini-van to transport them and that would blow my super-cool image. Well, okay, at least the one I'm hoping to establish.

For now, I just don't know the answer. I do however, feel the time is ripe for change. There is going to be a bit of self-reinvention required here which isn't always easy. It's a hackneyed, but true, concept that springs to mind here. It is that when you step outside of your comfort zone into that uneasy space that positive change and growth can occur.

Perhaps my inspiration will appear at the bottom of my fifth cup of coffee. If not the answer to my career dilemma, maybe at least I'll tackle the new cookware.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

ASPARAGUS CIGARS

I'm a momma's boy. And I'm proud of it. My mother is an amazing woman who has lead an absolutely fascinating life. If Oprah would just quit driving around the country with Gayle she'd see that she needs to book my mother immediately as a guest on an episode dedicated to courageous women who lead powerful lives. Put the car in park Oprah.

My mother made a huge mess last night. Well, she and a bunch of her friends. Ed is upstairs now cleaning up the food spills on the floor, wine stains off the bar, and crusty, opaque smears of buttercream icing on the polished table top that are part of the aftermath of the retirement cocktail party that we threw for her and my step-dad. And what about the fact that Ed is doing this as I'm downstairs blogging? Well, let's just say that I do love my man.

My mom has overcome some pretty sizable obstacles in her life including losing her vision at the age of eleven as a result of an accident. Fortunately as a kid she attended a residential school for blind students where she learned the blindness-specific skills she would need to lead a "normal" and productive life. She later went on to graduate from UCLA, raise two kids as a single, working mother, and even returned to school later to earn her masters degree in family and child counseling.

Most of her adult life has been spent volunteering countless hours with a large non-profit charity composed of blind people working to improve the lives of other blind people. She retired from paid full time work many years ago and has since served as the president of the California affiliate of this national charity. That task proved to be an all-consuming, albeit rewarding pursuit. Next week, in front of the gathered convention, she will pass the gavel on to a successor. She and her husband have purchased a new home in another state and will finally enjoy a real, hard-earned retirement. Nobody is more deserving. I miss her already.

I hit the kitchen at 6 am yesterday, preparing the appetizers we were serving at the cocktail party at our house last night.


Sun-dried Tomato Cheese Tort

Asparagus Cigars

Southwest Chicken Pizzas

Pizzas with Brie, Papaya and Scallions

Mini Strombolis

Coconut, Butternut Soup Shots with Soft Pretzel Croutons

Seared Beef with Roasted Pepper Salsa

Orange and Lime Marinated Shrimp

Cucumber Cups with Coconut & Basil Black Rice

Won Ton Cups with Goat Cheese, Dates & Bacon


The Asparagus Cigar recipe below was found on Epicurious. I adapted it by adding shredded parmesean cheese and a touch of toasted sesame oil. They are deliciously addicting. I discovered that they could be frozen and reheated in a hot oven just prior to serving, although they are best when fresh.




ASPARAGUS CIGARS

24 medium asparagus spears
12 (7-inch) flour tortillas
1 large egg
1 tsp sesame oil
1/2 cup shredded parmesean (approx)
1/4 cup sesame seeds (approx)
Roughly 2 cups vegetable oil

2 TBS soy sauce
2 TBS fresh lime juice
2 TBS water
1 tsp sugar
1 scallion, finely chopped

wooden toothpicks

In a small bowl, beat egg with 1 tsp sesame oil. Trim off tough end of asparagus to make roughly 6 to 7 inch stalks. Lay a tortilla on a cutting board and cut stack in half, through the middle. Take a half tortilla and brush with beaten egg mixture. Sprinkle with some sesame seeds and shredded parmesean. Lay asparagus along cut side of tortilla and roll up, securing with toothpicks. Brush outside of roll with more beaten eggs and a light sprinkle of sesame seeds. Repeat with remaining asparagus.

Heat 1/2 inch of oil in a heavy skillet to 350 F. Fry rolls in batches of 3 or 4 only, turning over once until golden brown on all sides (they cook quick--just needs a minute or so). Remove and place on paper towels to drain. Repeat with remaining rolls. Remove toothpicks after rolls have cooled slightly.

Mix remaining ingredients together until sugar is dissolved and serve as a dipping sauce for the asparagus cigars.