OOOHH...YOU SWEET, SAUCY PEAR!

"There are only ten minutes in the life of a pear when it is perfect to eat."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson



I don't believe that most fruits benefit from any such preparation that robs them of their perfect NATURAL goodness. However, this might be an appetizer recipe that proves me wrong. It was a favorite at the Tapas Party.

ROSEMARY PEARS ON FLATBREAD WITH FRESH MOZZARELLA

One fresh pear--I used a firm bosc pear
Canned pear nectar --I used Kern's
1+ TBS chopped rosemary
pinch allspice
Fresh coarse ground black pepper
Fresh mozzarella cheese
Purchased crisp flatbread

Slice washed, unpeeled pear lengthwise into 1/4 inch thick strips. Place fruit in a skillet coated lightly with non-stick spray and cook over high heat until just starting to brown, approximately 1 minute. Lower heat and slowly pour in approximately half of the can of pear nectar, rosemary and allspice. Simmer pears until soft and they have absorbed the nectar. Pears should be very tender, but not mushy or falling apart. Cool. It's a shame to dump the half full can of pear nectar so I top off with chilled vodka and put on a happy face.

Slice thin wedges of the mozzarella to fit on top of flatbread. Cheese will spread when melted so don't cover more than 3/4 of the surface of the flatbread. Place flatbread in hot oven JUST until cheese begins to melt and then remove promptly. Arrange pear slices on top of each flatbread and then lightly dust with fresh, coarsely ground black pepper. Pour yourself another pear cocktail and devour with glee.

PATRONAVILLE

Once again I find myself in the embarrassing position of having to apologize to a great songwriter. This time, the lyrics remain untouched, which can't be said of my Don McLean's American Pie post. Today, I've just added photos to accompany my recipe for infused tequilas with the accompaniment of Jimmy Buffett's "Margaritaville."





Nibblin' on sponge cake,
watchin' the sun bake;
All of those tourists covered with oil.
Strummin' my six string on my front porch swing.
Smell those shrimp
They're beginnin' to boil.







Wasted away again in Margaritaville,
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
But I know it's nobody's fault.









Don't know the reason,
Stayed here all season
With nothing to show but this brand new tattoo.
But it's a real beauty,
A Mexican cutie, how it got here
I haven't a clue.






Wasted away again in Margaritaville,
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
Now I think, - hell it could be my fault.
















I blew out my flip flop,
Stepped on a pop top,
Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home.
But there's booze in the blender,
And soon it will render
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on.










Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
But I know, it's my own damn fault.
Yes, and some people claim that there's a woman to blame
And I know it's my own damn fault.












1. Wash fruit.
2. Cut fruit.
3. Stuff fruit in jars.
4. Pour tequila over fruit in jars.
5. Wait.
6. Wait some more.
7. Drink fruit infused tequila, straight up chilled or in your favorite margarita.


Sleep. Where ever ya are.

EGGPLANT, MINT AND HONEY EMPANADILLAS

The tapas party has come and gone and all that's left is some goat cheese truffles, some grapes and some half eaten bags of black truffle popcorn. Okay, truth is I kept nibbling on the popcorn yesterday. Am I the only one who thinks popcorn is really good the morning after you make it?

*sound of crickets chirping*
Yes, I suppose I am.

I made the eggplant empanidallas a few days before the event and then popped them into the freezer. They reheat quite nicely--of course, not as delicious as when they leave the skillet and arrive on the parchment paper to cool but still totally delictible. I reheated them in a convection oven at 375 degrees for about 10 minutes or just until hot. I served them naked (not me--the empanidallas) without any dipping sauce. I think a sauce would be nice, but I honestly don't know what I'd pair them with. Until I come up with something, I suggest an empanadilla in one hand and a cold Japanese or Indian beer in the other.

EGGPLANT, MINT AND HONEY EMAPANADILLAS

1 small eggplant (or half of a large one-they all seem to be bigger than Naomi Campbell's temper)
1 TBS olive oil
1 bunch fresh mint, finely chopped
1 TBS honey
2 tsp sesame seeds

prepared won ton wrappers
canola oil for frying

Dice eggplant. Coat the bottom of a skillet evenly with olive oil and bring temperature up to medium-high. Add eggplant and stir to coat evenly with oil. Add mint, honey and sesame seeds and cook for 3 to 4 minutes or until eggplant softens. Add a touch more oil only if necessary. Remove eggplant and let cool.

Place 6 wonton wrappers on flat surface and keep remainder of wrappers covered. Add a scant tablespoon of eggplant mixture to center of wonton. Fold a corner of the wrapper toward its opposite corner to form a triangle pocket. Use moistened fingertips to lightly seal the seams.


Heat 1/2 inch of oil in skillet until hot and carefully add prepared empanadillas. Cook quickly on both sides just until dough browns and puffs slightly. Serve warm or at room temperature.

A DIRTY SECRET REVEALED

This is the rough re-enactment of a conversation between my partner (Ed) and his oldest son.

SON: Well, Pops, can I come over to pick up the insurance form tomorrow night?

ED: We won't be home. We have a dinner...thing...to go to .

SON: A dinner "thing?"

ED: Err, yeah. We started a ...well...we started a dinner club with five other friends where we each take turns cooking a nice meal for everyone. We do it about once a month or so and tomorrow is Andrew's turn. It's the only time that any of us actually use our dining rooms.

SON: hahahahhahahhahaha *snort* A dinner club? hahahahah oh.. my... God! Who are you now, the Golden Girls?

ED: I know...I know. But, it's usually a really fun night and a break from the usual routine. And all of the meals have been excellent.

SON: Actually, it sounds like maybe it could be fun. But, you have got to come up with another name for it Pops. Seriously. Really. Another name.



And that's it. Our dirty secret. We belong to a dinner club. And, it has a name.

The Gay Boys Dinner Club.

I know, I know. You are wondering, "What do Fred and Ricky do that night? Do you play canasta after the dishes are cleared?" His son is right, the name is ridiculous. In fact, it's so ridiculous that it's perfect for the monthly event. We've embraced it with open arms. Usually though, we just tell others that we have a dinner...thing...to go to.

Last night was my turn to host. I decided to throw a tapas party. Tapas seem to be ubiquitous in Los Angeles right now. As with most culinary trends it is probably at risk of being over-exposed. Even so, I have really never ventured into any of the local tapas restaurants for a taste of Spain. In preparation for my evening, I looked online at the origins of tapas and the traditional fares offered. Although there are many foods regarded as usual tapas offerings such as patatas bravas, Spanish tortillas, olives and nuts, tapas seem to be more of a style of eating rather than any particular culinary bites. I took this idea and went crazy with it.




Our dining table was transformed into a Spanish tavern where lots of Sangria Blanco was poured and many, many little bites were offered.






















































































































































Our upper deck was arranged for casual dining.



WE ARE READY!



There was only one problem. The HEAT!!!


Los Angeles is melting. Summers in L.A. usually consist of hot days with cool nights. Not so lately. Certain parts of the city have had high temperatures of over 100 degrees for 19 days. The air was unusually thick, with heavy, wet, monsoonal moisture. Even so, by 8 pm it was tolerable and we began to dive into the spread.

Wow, somebody must be hungry. I can hear their stomach rumbling. Oh, wait, no...



Everyone was enjoying his first round of sangria and food. I was in the kitchen, finishing up the swordfish. Harpo was awaiting my first food spill on the floor (which technically means that it then belongs to him). I was happily spooning the last crimson dollop of cherry salsa on the swordfish when people began yelling and shouting. "Wow", I thought. "They are really digging this food!" They weren't savoring my food.

Their mouths were hanging open while watching the effects of a sudden blast of wind out of nowhere. The overhead canvas awnings were ballooning upward like a parachute. Lighting was flashing overhead. Candles blew out leaving only glowing wicks. A small girl in a checkered pinafore, a dog, and an old spinster on an antiquated Schwinn blew past. We stood on the chairs and hurriedly removed the strings of lights I had suspended from the awning's mechanical arms. While doing so, somebody turned, yelled and pointed as the large table umbrella was sucked up in some unseen wind tunnel and deposited on the tiled roof. With the strands of lights removed, a push of the button and the awnings were safely retracted. A ladder was pulled from the garage and I managed to grab the end of the heavy wooden umbrella pole. Moments later, it was anchored back in its place, umbrella collapsed and therefore, more aerodynamic.

Then we stood back to watch the lighting and noticed ...DEAD CALM. The wind stopped. It must have lasted about 5 minutes. The lightning continued for quite some time and it provided quite a spectacular show. More sangria was poured and the swordfish was brought out to the table. Harpo sulked as he sniffed the clean kitchen floor where I had been working. All the food was devoured and another successful ...err...dinner thing concluded.

I'll post on some of the recipes soon.





Ya gonna eat that???

Okay...okay

I've been "tagged" before with these "5 Things In..." lists but I haven't ever acted on them. I have enough trouble finding the time to photograph and write about the food I cook. I'm just not fast enough to toss in too many extras. However, a few days ago both Sarah at "The Delicious Life" and KT at "Gastronomy 101" both got me at exactly the same time. I cried Uncle (just this once).


FIVE THINGS IN MY FREEZER: phyllo dough, red chile from New Mexico, edamame, Effen Black Cherry vodka and Trader Joe's marinated Ahi tuna steaks. Oh yeah, the fuzzy guy I found while battling baby seal poachers in Alaska on a GreenPeace expedition. Now, he helps me carry groceries in from the car and changes the light bulb in the back of the freezer when needed.


FIVE THINGS IN MY CLOSET: Get Fuzzy T-shirt (cause everybody needs a little "Fuzzy"), Tumi messenger bag, Converse "Peace" hi-tops and my favorite Sharper Image slippers (thanks babe!) and oh, yeah, a skeleton.



FIVE THINGS IN MY WALLET: Boring, what can I say? I guess the movie stub can be tossed now.



FIVE THINGS IN MY CAR: That reminds me, I need to pick up my pants from the tailor and try to locate this pedestrian's next of kin.

GRILLED FRUIT AND PORK TENDERLOIN SALAD

"Man it's hot. It's like Africa hot. Tarzan couldn't take this kind of hot. "
From "Biloxi Blues"

Last night we retreated to the Hollywood Bowl and chowed down on cold fried chicken under the prized coolness of a starry night . Tonight, I think we'll hit Marix for a margarita and let someone else sweat in the kitchen like Rush Limbaugh at a Fat Camp. It's too hot for serious cooking, but I didn't break a sweat making this salad a couple of days ago.

GRILLED FRUIT AND PORK TENDERLOIN SALAD

2 pork tenderloins (roughly 2.5 lbs total)
2 TBS olive oil

Mix together for rub:
1 tsp ground cumin
2 tsp chili powder
1 tsp cinnamon
salt and pepper

Mix together for glaze:
1 cup dark brown sugar, packed
3 to 4 cloves of garlic, mashed
1 TBS hot sauce, or hot garlic- chili paste (add just enough to make a thick, but spreadable glaze)

For Salad:
1 red bell pepper
Fruit for grilling such as peaches, mangos, strawberries, sliced pineapple, figs
small amount of olive oil
Salad greens

For Vinaigrette:
Juice of two limes
3 TBS orange juice
1 TBS + dijon mustard
1 tsp toasted curry powder
salt and pepper
1/3 cup olive oil

Coat each pork tenderloin with 1 TBS olive oil and then rub with dry spice mixture. Set aside.

Slice bell pepper and desired fruit and brush lightly with olive oil. Grill over medium-high heat until grill marks start to form but fruit is still firm. Remove and set aside.

Place pork on hot grill and sear all sides. Lower heat and brush glaze mixture over pork. Continue cooking until pork is just done and no longer pinkish inside. Remove when done and set aside and let rest.

Wisk together all vinaigrette ingredients and emulsify. Arrange salad greens over plates. Slice cooled tenderloins and arrange over greens. Add grilled fruit and peppers. Drizzle vinaigrette over salad.

THE TRASH COMPACTOR FILES--SECOND DUMP

Hurrahh! I have the day off and I have absolutely nothing planned. Whatever shall I do? I know, I'll make caramels!

This could have been the introduction to a new Stephen King thriller. Except nobody would buy the book. And the movie adaptation would have a stench more foul than last week's calamari that's been in the back alley dumpster in 96 degree heat. There would be no great climactic scene where some girl, being chased by the murderer, alien, whatever, stops and removes her blouse in an attempt to (give the audience a cheap thrill) and make a rope to escape out the 8th story window. Nothing worthwhile at all. But for me, personally, it would be terrifying. Just like my day has been.

I posses a decrepit notebook, flowing over with recipes torn out of magazines or printed off the net. It's full of ideas that sparked some flame at one point. I save them for a rainy day. I save LOTS of them. Well, I have several proclaiming how easy and fun it is to make home made caramels.

"This will be fun", I thought. I pictured those cast members in Disneyland's Main Street who wear costumes from the turn of the century and make candy in large copper pots that bubble and boil with those amazing essences of vanilla and toffee.

I should have gone to the movies and seen "Cars" like I originally planned.

It started out innocently enough. I understood the importance of when to stir and when to not stir. I got the reason for washing down the sugar crystals on the side of the pan with a wet pastry brush. I brainstormed and decided I'd make two batches, one flavored with Bailey's Irish Cream and a second made with mango nectar. Yuuummmmmmmmm.

Well, part of my fantasy was realized. I had a pot of bubbling sugar that was slowly turning that lovely pale brown, observing the Maillard reaction of the cream reacting with the hot sugar and caramelizing beautifully. It smelled amazing too.



I had read that it was very important to cook it slowly--don't burn the cream or push the temperature too far. So, I watched the thermometer crrrreeeeeeeppppppp slowly upward at a snail's pace. I did a few things in the meantime.





I updated my iPod.



















STILL NOT DONE???








I caught up on some light reading.










FINALLY!!! It did it! Done! I poured the molten treasure into buttered pans and let it set. I even managed to finish both batches without a single sugar burn. It began to set...s l o w l y. Really S L O W L Y. It seemed to be doing just lovely, firming up, no crystallization and the color was gorgeous.

I had to kill some more time.






Harpo always enjoys a good story.






















And, I designed, built and installed a new Jacuzzi tub while the white hot lava candy cooled. I also patched the roof and painted the garage.





Wait, what's happening? Now it's getting STICKY!!! And it's getting kinda grainy around the edges. I bet this never happens to those people at Disneyland.

Well, it seems that I picked this little adventure on the worst day possible. It's hot here in L.A. Really hot and HUMID. I think our swampy, smoggy, wet air killed my candy. The chunks of creamy caramel become sorta chewy and soft in a way that caramel shouldn't be. They sorta spread and got soft like a Celebrity Fit Club dropout.



The batch of mango flavored caramels is a goner. It tastes great, if you are willing to use a spoon. DUMP!!! The Baileys batch still resembles soft caramels. I suppose it can be saved and warmed to drizzle over ice cream or fruit or something. What a wasted day. Sheesh.

SHRIMP WITH GREEN CHILE & PUMPKIN SEED SAUCE

No, I don't own this plate, but it would be perfect for the following meal.

New Mexico has given us the Ute Mountain Indian tribe, Georgia O'Keeffe, the Palace of the Governors — the oldest seat of government in the country, the first atomic bomb explosion, Roswell, and many fascinating UFO sightings and rumored abductions and "probings". No wonder it's called "The Land of Enchantment."

I'm not a particular fan of Georgia O'Keeffe or atomic blasts. However, I do love green chile grown in New Mexico. It possesses a unique taste that doesn't come from anywhere else. There are many varieties of chiles grown there, both hot and mild. When you order a hamburger in New Mexico, they ask you, "red or green?" which is reference to the type of chile you would like on your burger. The same goes for pizzas I'm told.

My mother's husband returns from family visits in Albuquerque toting frozen green chile stuffed into a suitcase more skillfully than Rosie O'Donnell's mouth at an award show buffet . Don't worry, they know how to pack it so that it stays frozen for the trip. It makes its way to my freezer where I wait for good summer tomatoes to arrive so that I may make proper salsas.


Last night, I made some grilled shrimp with a New Mexico green chile and pumpkin seed sauce. This is one of those recipes that is getting a gold star emblazened across the top. It's amazingly flavorful, low in fat and perfect for summer. Another reason to love New Mexico, to say nothing of the "probings."

GRILLED SHRIMP WITH NEW MEXICO GREEN CHILE AND PUMPKIN SEED SAUCE

3 TBS olive oil
1/2 cup green pumpkin seeds
1/2 cup chopped onion
2 cloves garlic, minced
salt and pepper to taste
2 tsp corn starch
1/4 cup chopped, hot New Mexico green chile
1/4 cup chicken broth
3/4 cup fat-free evaporated milk

12 medium-sized shrimp, cleaned and butterflied

Heat olive oil in a skillet and add pumpkin seeds and onion. Saute over medium heat until onion softens and seeds are just starting to brown slightly. Add garlic, green chile, corn starch, salt and pepper and continue to cook for 4 minutes more, stirring frequently. Onions should not caramelize. Remove skillet from heat and cool.


Place mixture in food processor and puree. Mixture will be very thick. With machine running, add chicken broth, and then milk in a stream. Continue processing until sauce is smooth. Pour sauce into saucepan and set over low flame to heat, stirring occasionally.

Brush shrimp with a little olive oil and grill or sautee in a hot skillet until JUST cooked. This only takes a few quick minutes or shrimp will toughen. Spoon sauce into plate and place shrimp on top.
The color in this photo is awful. The sauce is a pale green, not this unappetizing gray color that resembles three-finger poi.


I served with wild rice, some greens and snipped some chives over the top. It gets an A+.

KITCHEN CLOSED

The ACME kitchen is closed for a week or so while the cook is out of town. Sadly, for business and not for pleasure.

That means that Ed is left alone and, most likely, very hungry. Cooking is not high on his list of pleasurable activities. Scrambled eggs are only going to carry ya so long babe. I think maybe there are some frozen chicken meatballs in the garage freezer and loads of pasta and sauce in the pantry.

Perhaps some kind food blogger near L.A. will volunteer to cook some meals for him while I'm gone. If so, please leave a comment for Ed (AKA "AcmeInstantFoodReceptacle"). Be forewarned, he doesn't eat too many veggies.